Being
by Clem Marchal
Summary: Being in love. Being heartbroken. Being wingless. Meeting the one. Warning: may trigger sensitive people.


Being in love with Clarion had made Milori come alive. It had made him burn with passion and desire. It had made him love sunset and loathe winter. It had made him smile and dance and laugh and fly. It had make him cross the border and see wonderful things he only ever heard of from her. It had made him stay on the other side a bit too long. It had made him break a wing. It had made her break his heart. The day she had left, he had sworn that he would never fall in love again.

Being heartbroken had made Milori shut down. It had made his brain and body burn alive with pain. It had torn his heart to shreds. It had made him long for death and loathe life. It had made him shout and cry and scream and scratch and cut and tear and bleed and thin and almost die. It had put him on the other side of the line between life and death. It had made him a barely living cadaver on the Keeper's bed. The day he had seen a tear slide down the right cheek of his beloved friend, he had sworn it would change soon.

Being wingless had made Milori a lot of things. It had made him burn with physical pain for days on end. It had made him feel lesser. It had made his heart ache with sadness and sorrow. It had made him shout and cry and scream and, along with heartache and sunsets, attempt suicide. It had also put him on the other side of the line between life and death. It had also made him a barely living cadaver on the Keeper's bed. Then, one day, he had looked at himself in the mirror, at his wings, and hadn't cried. That day, he had sworn that he would overcome his loss.

Meeting Tinkerbell had been the beginning of a new life. He had been angry at her for endangering Peri, angry at Peri for endangering herself, all out of concern for his friend, but when he had seen the fear in her eyes and the tears on her cheeks he couldn't bring himself to be angry anymore. When she, as he was leaving, had told him why Peri had crossed the border that day, his heart had torn for them as much as it had when Clarion had left him. "We're sisters," she had said. Sisters. Born out of the same laugh. Two parts of one entity. Inseparable. Exact copies of each other. Linked by a force still not understood. In need to be together. It had taken him all that was left of his willpower to tell them that they had to stay away from each other without breaking down right then and there. And, as he was about to go back to his owl, her defiance had made him smile, and thanks to that, seeing Clarion for the first time in so many years as she told her that the law preventing fairies from crossing the border was hers wasn't as hard as he had expected it to be.

Meeting Tinkerbell had made him think. It had made him think a lot, because he knew that she wasn't like the other fairies, that she never would be. Everyday after their first meeting he had thought about her, about her and Peri, about how scared and heartbroken she had looked back at the border after Peri had come back to Winter. He had wanted to hug her and soothe her and take care of her like the Keeper had done with him so many years ago, and had cried because he couldn't, and because he knew that she and Peri were crying too. He had tried helping Peri as much as he could, but she wouldn't let him do much and would stay in the Keeper's library watching the video of her and Tinkerbell's birth and arrival over and over again, crying and suffering alone. He had known that Clarion was trying to do the same with Tinkerbell to no avail. He had not known her for more than a few minutes but it was killing him to not be able to be there for her.

Meeting Tinkerbell for the second time had been the silver lining he had been longing for since he had told her and Peri to stay away from each other. Upon seeing her he had wanted to go straight to her and apologize for what he had told them, but they had had the tree and the warm seasons to worry about so the time for apologies had had to be delayed. As he had stayed outside with Clarion he had wanted nothing more than for the queen to be replaced by her, and as the temperature had kept getting colder he had been able to think of nothing but her. He had been overwhelmed with relief when she had gotten out of her hiding place with the other warm fairies. He had been tormented by fear and anxiousness when she had refused to leave the ground. He had began to cry as she had turned her back to her sister and himself. He had been terrified that what he thought was the reason she wouldn't fly might be true. He had been utterly devastated when he had seen her broken wing. He had been intrigued when, as she and her sister had pressed their wings together as a way of saying goodbye, her dress and clothes had turned white as snow but her hair had remained yellow. He had been taken by surprise when she had inadvertantly frosted her sister's right wing when touching it where hers was almost ripped off. He had been as surprised when she had turned toward him with the biggest smile ever possible on her face. He had been curious when she had ran toward him. He had been taken aback when she had kissed him full on the lips with such passion that he almost fainted. He had been all too happy to kiss her back with just as much passion as she.

Living with Tinkerbell had been the best thing that had ever happened to him apart from meeting her and falling in love with her. Having children with her had been a blessing, both because it had been a first in the history of fairies and because he loved her more than he could ever say. And now here they were, in each other's arms, emotionally healed, happy, sealing their love with a kiss for the very last time before starting their afterlife together.


End file.
